Past

Let bygone be bygone. I believe in that. But do they? They still leave me out. Still, out. We took the same paper today but they decided to leave me out. They went out and didn't bother to ask if i would want to join them. But i guess they probably assumed that i was already out or assumed that i don't want to join them anymore or assumed that i found a new group of people to hang out with. I mean come on. You said you forgive and forget but you are doing the totally opposite of it. Don't promise or say something when you don't mean it. I said i realised my mistakes and i apologised and you said i wasn't sincere enough. You made me doubt the real meaning of sincerity. Seriously? I told my friend and he said that they are being really childish about this and come on, all for a blog? Isn't it bit too much? Come to think of it, yes it is really stupid. Overreacting, hormones imbalance perhaps? Well, that explains! I mean, why are you guys being so vengeful and hateful? I had to start the conversation to have a conversation. You guys are not making effort. Any effort actually. I am tired of trying. I was just trying to make things less awkward but i guess that is not what you want. You all think that I am the only one who is at fault. Think of the hurt you guys did to me, boycotting me, 5 versus 1. Seriously? If you guys want me to learn to be in the real world, i guess you guys are the ones who should really learn how to survive in the real world. You have each other here but will you all still stick together in the real world when things get more and more harsh on you? Thanks to you guys that i know the real meaning of friendship. Friendship is when friends being honest with each other. Not boycott to make me realise something is wrong. That is seriously childish. If you are being mature, you would've talked to me saying we don't like your blogpost about us. We are hurt from that post. Tell me, talk to me but no, you guys decided to do something which you think is 'mature' which i really doubt. Let me tell you, in the real world, when people don't see things eye to eye, they will tell you at your face. Yes, cold and harsh but that is real life, well at least to me it is.

You know i was really happy when we hang out the other day. I thought finally things got better, much better but no, because of one person who couldn't let down, girl, you are a hater, too vengeful. Stop criticising on people when you are not doing that great yourself. You are really selfish. Not even kidding. You want things to go your way. Good job that you managed to brain wash them and control them like your puppets. They may not realise it but from my point of view, you got them under your control. You got them to follow your selfish needs. Everything was supposed to be alright but i guess you did something. My gut told me you have something to do with it. I have no idea why but i have a really strong feeling about it. You said you will forgive and forget and that's it. I respect that but you are not doing what you said. Not sure if it is a promise, i don't really care actually. Cause you know what, i am a bigger person than you. Much bigger and we shall see who goes further in life. Your selfish thoughts and empty words or me.

Maybe from another point of view, i was just thinking too much or what but it haunts me every time i talk about it. When i think about it, the pain hits me. The fact for what you guys did was just too hurtful and even my friends that i talked to said you guys are just being childish and cannot let go. I really don't get it. It was just a freaking blog. And it wasn't on any active social media and that post did not defame any one of you. But don't you guys think boycotting a friend, someone who helped you when you needed help, someone who is always there when you needed her. Nope, it has all gone in the drain, in the trash. I guess, i was just being taken for granted. Taken for granted. Friends who i value are my soft spot and you guys successfully hit it. You said i am a strong person. I may look strong to you but actually deep inside i am not. I am not as strong as you think. It is still painful. I could still tear because of this. No matter how strong a person is, it is wrong for you to boycott someone who lives under the same roof.


1 more week here and i am done. You will see a much bigger me and get ready to be shocked. I promise you that. I have plans for my future. Do you? I must surround myself with people who has big dreams, has goals to run for, not someone who thinks about.. i don't know. I really don't know what do you guys think about actually. I'm sorry but we don't see the same things in life and now, i am officially done in trying. You guys are happy having each other. It is fine to lose one right? Yeah, probably. Bye guys. You guys have been such nice friends but too bad, God just wants us to be acquaintances.



I'm done.




grateful and blessed




mun