love smiles, love laughter

I have been fearing for my life of what is going to happen with me in the next few years. Where am I going to be? What am I going to have? What am I going to do? So many thoughts have been lingering in my mind past these few months and I have been sort of living in fear, at least subconsciously. Yes, I do enjoy my life when I was travelling to places with my bf. But you know that at the back of your head, you are fearing of something. Something that you can’t just say it outright. It eats you. It ate me. I was unhappy for a few months, because I don’t know what am I going to do. The uncertainties killed me or still killing me. At least I am slowly recovering from the pain, doubts, confusion. It was a bad wound. One thing that I have stopped doing when I was having those thoughts was working out and dance. I was always active with exercising and dance. I don’t know which affected which. Was it because of me stopped working out that affected my brain from producing the serotonin which

Hi all, It has been a long while since I have written something here. Actually it has been a long while since I've written my thoughts out. I have been having a lot of thoughts in my mind a few months now, and I think that's the reason for all the pimples popping up on my forehead, sigh. Putting that aside, I have been unhappy these few months. Mostly because of worrying the uncertain future that I am going to face. I have no idea why am I so concern of the future and etc. Because of the uncertainties, I have been stressing myself out. Giving myself unwanted worries. I have finally, or slowly taking baby steps. Meaning, I want to live in the moment where, I am only going to think of what I want to do this week and probably next week. Just want to start fresh instead of worrying so much on my future like omg, how many babies I am getting or whatever or if I cannot conceive when I want to have my own kids so bad. Okay, those are seriously unwanted stress! See? I think of all

Today is the day of chill. No plans for the day, a day to go with the flow. I thought about this a few days ago where, what is your meaning of success? Many wants to retire by so and so age. My question is why? what are you going to do next? What are you going to do in you're retirement? My mom retired from the workforce as early as in her 30s, after she gave birth to my youngest sister which is when she was 32? She retired in the age of 32. Many would kill to be in her position but being her daughter and from what she has shared with me made me not wanting to retire. I want to take a break here and there but not retire from the workforce completely. My definition of being successful in career wise is to work because I want to not because I need to. I want to continue contributing to the society no matter how old I am- as long as I can contribute, I will. Be it charity, talks or whatever channel to share my experience. That's why I really admire Tun M. Being the oldest PM i

OK guys, podcasting is not as easy I thought it would be.. Well, technically you just need content, voice, software to record and edit. Well, I have the first and stuck at the second and third. Reason being, my voice was too soft! I thought the mic would help. Nope. Means, I have to speak at my usual pitch and volume. Lol. All these means, I have to record again which could be tomorrow since tomorrow would be pretty free.. I hope I won't be stuck at the polling station for tooo long. So there's that, the update on my podcast. Next, on my life update. It has been a pretty shitty weeks and this week seemingly getting better. First of all, I had breakout. have no idea why.. still trying to figure out. First suspect could be the product change. Girls out there, once you have found your holy grail that has been keeping your clear face, STICK TO IT! Obviously I didn't and was trying to "step out of my comfort zone" shizz that got my face upset. I'm truly sorry fac

Hey there! I was watching one of my favourite youtuber's lastest video on her solo trip to Phuket and man, I am changing my mind of not travelling solo. It's so , so cool! Like, she spent on the hotel she stayed in, she got the room with private pool and she only visited 2 places on the entire trip. I think her purpose of this trip is to rejuvenate her mind and soul, hence, not so much on visiting places. Just mainly on being with self and just, recharge from the surrounding. Absorb the energy from the sea and trees. Because of this video, i have decided that you know what, i want to do that too. Probably next year because this year, i'll be travelling to many places. It is quite a few for me already. Closest trip now is Perhentian which i am really, really excited for! Then in July would be Bangkok for company's trip. And lastly Shanghai in September! I am really excited for that too cause i'll be visiting my best friend, Bella. Man, i miss her so much! We just

Hello! I am going to start a new project which is podcasting! I have been dreaming to do that for a long time and one day i decided to go on Lazada to check out how much does a recording microphone cost. Guess how much is it? It is only RM 33 with free shipping! I only need a recording mic, phone/laptop and content. That's all to start my podcast! I have been thinking of the title for the podcast, not sure what is it still yet though.. The content of the podcast would be motivational content, favourite books to share and review on it, what i like and don't like about the book. This is just some ideas that i have for the podcast and we shall see how this goes. Excited bout it as it is pretty similar to blogging, just this time with my voice. I think podcasting can polish my speech skills where i want to avoid using ''fillers''. For example, like, you know, umm, and etc. I think this can be a good practice to swallow these fillers and avoid repeating the same

I almost ditched this blog to start a new one. I created one on wix.com but it didn't feel the same. I still like this, vanilla blogging. Nothing extra, just a place for me to write, vent and rant. Hence, i've decided to come back here to start again. I realised that i haven't been writing for a long time and i miss it. I miss the feeling after writing, the sound of the keys when pressed, so therapeutic. I just love it. The feeling of posting here and on the other website is so , so different. I really do prefer here than the new one. Tho i put quite a measurable effort on designing the website, you know what, this blog values more than that. This blog has all the posts since, many many years ago. Believe it or not, this blog is now, approximately, 6 years, if i'm not mistaken. Since i've started college. I can't even remember when did i start college. lol. Anyways, good to be back. Good to be back. My life so far.. Not too bad tbh. Am working to make it b

I am going to be officially 24 in a week! I can't believe how time passes by so fast! *written a week before Feb* It was just last week when my colleague asked how old am i, i answered, going to be 24 soon. She said, 24? You can get married and have kids already! Then i said, that's still a long way to go, but when i think about it, it's actually not too far.. There's so much to achieve before i want to get married. I have expectations to achieve before being married and have kids.. Not to say i can't achieve what i want with a family, it's just before getting tied down with getting pregnant and having kids and taking care of them, i want to be at least financially stable first where i don't have to worry about financials and just focus on taking care of my kids- maybe even, be a full time, stay at home mom. Just maybe, provided my husband can afford it of course. It seems like i am giving myself a lot of expectations that i gives me stress that i have t