Relationship
I have been in relationships with girls and guys. They are 2 different feelings altogether. I never regret being with my girl exes. I am still close with one of them, surprisingly haha. Okay, so i have been in 2 lesbian relationship and 2 straight relationship. I can't really describe how does it feel being with girls as i was really young-high school. My high school relationship was really really dramatic and complicated. I kept on jumping from one to another, well only between 2 girls but yeah.. I couldn't stay with one. no idea why. Maybe because deep down i know high school love is just puppy love and lesbian relationship can never work, well, that's how it works when you are from an asian family. I have to admit that i think i am a bi.
My real straight relationship started when i was 17 and the relationship lasted for 3 years. I don't know how the hell i can stay in a relationship for such a long time! So, we didn't break up properly. No idea why but yeah.. it was a weird break up. He asked me back and i know i still loved him but i am not sure if i want to continue the relationship. So, i said no. I didn't want to him to hold on to the relationship which i don't think will last. i am sorry that he has to feel that he kept on falling for the wrong girl as his previous relationship ended because of her falling for someone else. I still read his tweets once awhile to see how is he doing. He is doing great in UCL. We planned to travel together during summer with his JPA allowance. I was very touched but things ended. We no longer talk to each other as he said he won't talk to me anymore once we break up. I have no idea why he decided such decision but it hurts though. We were each other's bestie and been there for each other and i know i changed him a lot. really a lot. From wearing baggy and oversized clothes to college, to being more self conscious and aware of what he wears and so on. Yes, we grew up together, from high school to college. When i reminisce about this, i wondered why did i decide to end this relationship. I admit i was childish thinking i am still young, i should explore more being single. Or maybe we just don't have the fate to be together.
Nope, i didn't stay single for long. Soon i fell for someone more mature, wiser than me. Instantly i know he is the one i want. We knew each other for a year, we did text almost everyday but that time i didn't think much about it cause wasn't ready but somehow at the end of the year, something hit him and he felt the spark. haha. that was what he told me. I actually wanted to wait until when i got back from exchange program to make things official because i will be away for a year and that is a long time. But again, nope, we became official about a month before i went to Ningbo. Things went well due to the same time zone and we were constantly there for each other. But now, things got harder as we are now in different time zone and we talked much lesser to each other. Long distance relationship is really hard to bear but luckily this LDR will end soon, 2 more months Emily! 2 more! I have to admit i was distracted for a bit to someone else but soon i realised things are not going to work. I don't want to betray his trust on me and i respect his trust. He is the man i want, not someone that i just met. Now i know why when i was in high school, i couldn't stay in long in a relationship, its because i get distracted easily and also because it was puppy love, i didn't care about anything else but my feelings. But now, this is the real shit. I can't screw it up. I don't want this relationship to end because of someone i met for just a month or 2. I am sorry, Dan for not telling you this before but i just need to spill the beans. You are the one i want to be with. You know i am not good at expressing my feelings. You know who am i. You know what i want and how i feel. You are always there for me. I have trust issues and you proved your worthiness. Every morning i will smile while looking at your messages. You make me smile and laugh like an idiot. :) I stayed strong because of you. I have never done it before, this is my first time for not being completely distracted. Crazy i know. I guess, this is the power of love. Right? :) now i know.
So these are my experiences. I grew up :)
Shall hit the bed soon! Going Edinburgh! :)
ciao
mun
My real straight relationship started when i was 17 and the relationship lasted for 3 years. I don't know how the hell i can stay in a relationship for such a long time! So, we didn't break up properly. No idea why but yeah.. it was a weird break up. He asked me back and i know i still loved him but i am not sure if i want to continue the relationship. So, i said no. I didn't want to him to hold on to the relationship which i don't think will last. i am sorry that he has to feel that he kept on falling for the wrong girl as his previous relationship ended because of her falling for someone else. I still read his tweets once awhile to see how is he doing. He is doing great in UCL. We planned to travel together during summer with his JPA allowance. I was very touched but things ended. We no longer talk to each other as he said he won't talk to me anymore once we break up. I have no idea why he decided such decision but it hurts though. We were each other's bestie and been there for each other and i know i changed him a lot. really a lot. From wearing baggy and oversized clothes to college, to being more self conscious and aware of what he wears and so on. Yes, we grew up together, from high school to college. When i reminisce about this, i wondered why did i decide to end this relationship. I admit i was childish thinking i am still young, i should explore more being single. Or maybe we just don't have the fate to be together.
Nope, i didn't stay single for long. Soon i fell for someone more mature, wiser than me. Instantly i know he is the one i want. We knew each other for a year, we did text almost everyday but that time i didn't think much about it cause wasn't ready but somehow at the end of the year, something hit him and he felt the spark. haha. that was what he told me. I actually wanted to wait until when i got back from exchange program to make things official because i will be away for a year and that is a long time. But again, nope, we became official about a month before i went to Ningbo. Things went well due to the same time zone and we were constantly there for each other. But now, things got harder as we are now in different time zone and we talked much lesser to each other. Long distance relationship is really hard to bear but luckily this LDR will end soon, 2 more months Emily! 2 more! I have to admit i was distracted for a bit to someone else but soon i realised things are not going to work. I don't want to betray his trust on me and i respect his trust. He is the man i want, not someone that i just met. Now i know why when i was in high school, i couldn't stay in long in a relationship, its because i get distracted easily and also because it was puppy love, i didn't care about anything else but my feelings. But now, this is the real shit. I can't screw it up. I don't want this relationship to end because of someone i met for just a month or 2. I am sorry, Dan for not telling you this before but i just need to spill the beans. You are the one i want to be with. You know i am not good at expressing my feelings. You know who am i. You know what i want and how i feel. You are always there for me. I have trust issues and you proved your worthiness. Every morning i will smile while looking at your messages. You make me smile and laugh like an idiot. :) I stayed strong because of you. I have never done it before, this is my first time for not being completely distracted. Crazy i know. I guess, this is the power of love. Right? :) now i know.
So these are my experiences. I grew up :)
Shall hit the bed soon! Going Edinburgh! :)
ciao
mun
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