#bittersweet
You know that moment when you feel so damn excited and also so damn sad. Excited because you are going overseas and got to experience and feel new things. Sad because you will have to leave your family, friends and lover behind you. I just cannot take it. Being with them is my number one priority. I am going to fly to Shanghai in less than 24 hours. I am really sleepy and tired now but I know I just need to blog. Need to write out how I feel cause tomorrow will be a busy day... Last minute packing, check out if I left anything behind and blablabla.
I spent my last few days hanging out with friends and of course with le boyfriend. His family treats me so well, and makes me feel comfortable being with them. I don't feel awkward at all being with them. So, we had dinner just now and hanged out awhile at home. When I was walking back to my car with Dan, i suddenly felt so sad that I will have to leave him for 5 months and another few more months when I'm in UK is just devastating. I know this is just a temporary thing but I am so used to him beside me, lending his hands and shoulders for me to lean on when I'm tired. I know we can Skype and Whatsapp everyday but couldn't feel his touch and warmth when he hugs me is just too much to handle. I am so used to seeing him almost everyday since we got together and suddenly we have to separate for almost a year is just frustrating. Oh noes, I sound so damn clingy now.. I had a lot in my mind when I was driving home, like will things change during the year and the most saddening part is that I kept on thinking and imagining what will happen in the airport tomorrow before I leave. I wanna kiss him so much and so badly before I entered the car. I wanna hug him so tightly and cry my eyes off but I tried to calm myself down and tried not to cry like a baby that has lost her doll instead. I am a big girl now. Must be independent and be brave and strong!
The reason why I want to exchange to China is because I wanna change my learning and study style. Honestly, I know I can do so much better in Year 1 but I am just too relaxed cause I don't feel challenged and the tension at all. I know the people there are so much more competitive and I would like to put myself in such situation so I can be my old self again, someone who doesn't waste time looking at other people's life in Instagram and twitter, someone who finishes homework on time and someone who is efficient doing the work given and so on. I want to be my old self again. I don't want to laze around and wait for the time to pass by. I want to be active and competitive again. I want to be the girl that doesn't need tuition and yet can score in exams. A girl that knows what is going on in everything instead of relying on friends for information regarding the assignments and notes. I want to be that girl again. And also, I would like to improve my dancing skills. Dancing has always been a part of me. Ever since I've stopped dancing, I deproved and became lazy and lazier, fatter and fatter. I Don't want to be a person that only studies and knows nothing else.
That is my goal that I want to achieve and I will of course, achieve it. Law of attraction is really important and I strongly believe in it.
Last but not least, darling, let's achieve our goals together. I know we can. We definitely can. This year will be the year to take our first huge step to change and improve for the better and also the beginning of the amazing things that is yet to come. I am definitely ready and pumped up for this. Are you? You are my mentor and my best friend and of course, my lover. We stayed in the Valley for a little too long now. Let's explore the Peak for a change and I am sure you are going to love it. Pinky promise? :) You are unique and an amazing person. Never, ever forget that okay? Thank you for being there when I needed your help. I learned so much from you and I want to continue on learning things from you. So, don't disappoint me alright? heeee. :)
I will take care of myself in China and UK. I shall not make you worry bout me. hehee. And and, we must Skype at least every morning cause you are my energy booster. Ok?
Omg. I must stop being so cheesy man... hahaa
I love you
Ciao
mun
I spent my last few days hanging out with friends and of course with le boyfriend. His family treats me so well, and makes me feel comfortable being with them. I don't feel awkward at all being with them. So, we had dinner just now and hanged out awhile at home. When I was walking back to my car with Dan, i suddenly felt so sad that I will have to leave him for 5 months and another few more months when I'm in UK is just devastating. I know this is just a temporary thing but I am so used to him beside me, lending his hands and shoulders for me to lean on when I'm tired. I know we can Skype and Whatsapp everyday but couldn't feel his touch and warmth when he hugs me is just too much to handle. I am so used to seeing him almost everyday since we got together and suddenly we have to separate for almost a year is just frustrating. Oh noes, I sound so damn clingy now.. I had a lot in my mind when I was driving home, like will things change during the year and the most saddening part is that I kept on thinking and imagining what will happen in the airport tomorrow before I leave. I wanna kiss him so much and so badly before I entered the car. I wanna hug him so tightly and cry my eyes off but I tried to calm myself down and tried not to cry like a baby that has lost her doll instead. I am a big girl now. Must be independent and be brave and strong!
The reason why I want to exchange to China is because I wanna change my learning and study style. Honestly, I know I can do so much better in Year 1 but I am just too relaxed cause I don't feel challenged and the tension at all. I know the people there are so much more competitive and I would like to put myself in such situation so I can be my old self again, someone who doesn't waste time looking at other people's life in Instagram and twitter, someone who finishes homework on time and someone who is efficient doing the work given and so on. I want to be my old self again. I don't want to laze around and wait for the time to pass by. I want to be active and competitive again. I want to be the girl that doesn't need tuition and yet can score in exams. A girl that knows what is going on in everything instead of relying on friends for information regarding the assignments and notes. I want to be that girl again. And also, I would like to improve my dancing skills. Dancing has always been a part of me. Ever since I've stopped dancing, I deproved and became lazy and lazier, fatter and fatter. I Don't want to be a person that only studies and knows nothing else.
That is my goal that I want to achieve and I will of course, achieve it. Law of attraction is really important and I strongly believe in it.
Last but not least, darling, let's achieve our goals together. I know we can. We definitely can. This year will be the year to take our first huge step to change and improve for the better and also the beginning of the amazing things that is yet to come. I am definitely ready and pumped up for this. Are you? You are my mentor and my best friend and of course, my lover. We stayed in the Valley for a little too long now. Let's explore the Peak for a change and I am sure you are going to love it. Pinky promise? :) You are unique and an amazing person. Never, ever forget that okay? Thank you for being there when I needed your help. I learned so much from you and I want to continue on learning things from you. So, don't disappoint me alright? heeee. :)
I will take care of myself in China and UK. I shall not make you worry bout me. hehee. And and, we must Skype at least every morning cause you are my energy booster. Ok?
Omg. I must stop being so cheesy man... hahaa
I love you
Ciao
mun
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