love smiles, love laughter

How fast time has passed. I am soon going to sit for my exams and soon, will get over it, soon will be busy planning for SWAG then exams then graduation then work. How fast time can pass right? It is so scary. I am scared. I am sad. I am confused. I am feeling so bad right now. I dunno why. I need someone to talk to. I need someone to comfort me. I just need it. I feel so weird not having someone for me to talk to, someone to lean on and so on. Feels so weird, very saddening. Maybe it is just me feeling all these sorts of emotions when i am actually just feeling really stressed about exams. I should really start my revision already. Start doing exercises now before i get really tired. I really miss you now. >< I really should stop. I ended things, i must not hold on to it. Let the past be the past. Move on. I need to do that. I feels weird being single after so many years in a relationship. Very weird eh? I am hurt, in pain, i need to do something about this. I just can...

There has been a lot that happened since my last post. I had my first even video shoot and that was so freaking tiring. It was awesome and yet very very tiring compared to photo shoot. For photo shoot, you only need to stand still and pose but for video shooting, every different angle, you have to dance the whole choreography at least 5 times to get the  shot. Imagine how much energy we use that day. We had to gather really early in the morning which is around 6am and then make up as the video shoot planned to start at 8am. Well, the videographer arrived at 9am, so everything was delayed. Well, i would say timing is super duper important especially for the high end movie shooting or TV dramas as every single day, cash will be out to the staffs, equipments and so on. Well, for ours, it is super small scaled and everything else is pretty much free. On that day, it was my first time ever trying on dark lipstick and i love it!! I am in love with it. My friends said i look good in dar...

Why is she always confusing me. I was slowly opening myself to her but after what happened today made me curious, so curious that i don't even know if we are now friends anymore or back to ignoring mode. I really don't want the ignoring mode to happen but if that is what she chooses, i don't really mind cause i am already used to not having them around me anymore. So, it is back to the life without them. The thing i am confused about is, we chatted in whatsapp and everything seem so fine until i asked one question and she stopped replying me after seeing my message. Hmm. why? I don't even know. I know on Thursday night all of them hang out together and i asked if Aishah teased her and she said yes, but she ignored Aishah then Aishah stopped. Then when i asked, what she teased about, she stopped replying me already. I was like, hmm, why? Well, i didn't really care about it cause maybe she skipped my message. Then today at class, she sat with Aishah, well, i don't...

Magic happens when you truly believe it. At first i don't believe magic, I mean, for many of us, magic means illusion but actually magic is more than that. It is more than just illusion, it is real. I read the book Secret and to see "Magic", we must be grateful for what we have. I have been writing 10 things i am grateful about everyday and that changes my life, not significantly, yet. But i believe one day, whatever i wished for will definitely come true because i appreciate, grateful for the things i have, things being given to me. I start to see things more clearly and being more and more appreciative now. I believe that as we start to appreciate things, magical things will happen, may not be significant at first but that's how great things start. Right? I am definitely going to continue writing and be more and more appreciative and grateful for everything that i have and cherish moments with the people i love even more than before. I love this moment, moment to ...

i guess i sort of learned something today from the blogs i follow which is not to post so much of your relationship on social media. I feel it is as if a hidden curse. LOL. i mean, 2 of the person i follow on blogger, one is Naomi and the other one is my friend. Both of them always post things on social medias showing how happy they are and etc. I feel that, that is not the way to express feelings to each other. It is beautifully portrayed in themingthing's recent videos. It is surreal. Everything in the video is so on point, so right. I am not really a social media type of person, so i hope we are safe from that.. haha Anyways, i am sorry baby for being such a bitch these few days. I really don't understand how you could stand my hot and cold temper. I realise my mistakes and i really would want to get rid of it. I just dunno what is happening to me. I think with all the stress and i think i am having PMS which leads to all these crazy roller coaster temper. I miss you wh...

Finally, we are back, Hui Chee and I. I am loving it and i am happy for being with her when she needed someone to talk to. She really need someone to talk to now. Well, she is pretty confused with her own feelings. I seriously get her as i felt such way before. She was complaining on why is she feeling sad but she doesn't know it. She said she feels sad when she sees him. I waS like, you are sad because he doesn't like you back is it? She nodded. I so know her. haha. Not even kidding cause i know her. I know how she feels. It is not easy to forget the feelings/ the serious crush. Not easy but she has to understand what her feelings are telling her. Fully understand everything she feels cause if not, she will definitely suffer from the confusion and might deteriorate her relationship with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend loves her and treats her very well. And she might take that for granted and they are just too comfortable with each other i would say. Well, i can't blame tha...

Had a really fun Halloween Party last night at The Roof. It was really fun, i drank pretty much but somehow when they announced that the club is closing, my body switched a button to Sober Mode. LOL i don't even know how. I know when i was in the club, i was pretty tipsy but after that, nope, not at all anymore! Pretty amazing eh? I wore high heels and obviously my front soles will be painful. It's feeling not too bad now but still painful. Physically and emotionally painful. Besides my soles, my heart aches because of the anger built up inside me. I don't understand why didn't you control yourself. Just because you don't need to drive and just because you paid for the drinks does not mean that you have to pour everything in so it is 'worth it' right? There's a word that can describe your behaviour but i just can't find what the word is yet. Yesterday, your image to the new friends, and the other NDC members are gone. Daniel, oh yeah, he puked th...