Dream
It has been awhile since I felt like writing something. When I started working, I have been really cherishing my weekends. I just want to laze at home which I'm not sure if it should be like that. I think I am like this now cause my boyfriend(CW) is all the way in the US and I am here, being lazy to drive to anywhere. LOL. Talk about dependency right? My housemate had a house party at his gf's place last night and I skipped it cause I just wanted to stay at home and watch modern family. Yup. I am old. Or more of like, maybe it's CW not being around and I just don't want to drive home after drinking in the middle of the night.
Yes, I do miss him a lot. I want him to come back earlier but he's probably not going anywhere after this, so...persevere! I know I can do this but don't know why this is feeling extraordinarily harder than I expected it to be.
This morning I went to a centre where they teaches the autism kids to make organic teas called seventeaone. It was not bad. but I felt a little awkward because I don't know how to start small talks. I just don't know how. I need somebody that starts conversation first to warm up. >< so annoyed with myself. But I don't think I care much cause as long as everyone had fun, I'm okay to be invisible. lol. Well, at least we sang and had fun!Of course I have a few friends there but not really close to them, at least I don't feel the odd one out!
Some random thoughts came into my mind when I was there. Seeing everyone interacting with the kids, and okay, I was being pessimistic, in a way. I mean, are they going to see the kids ever again after this? Yes, everyone was being nice but sort of giving the kids some false hopes. I don't know how to describe this but I feel sad, the kids have to see so many random strangers trying to talk to them, to be their friends for that short period of time and then leave and most probably will never come back again. I believe some will come back, but how many?
In a way, pushes me even more to start my dream and help as many as I can and actually continue with it instead of just a one time thing. Makes me realise that we are all very fortunate with what we have. I am very grateful with what I have, really. I will work harder to achieve what I want and help as much as I can. That's my dream.
That's all I want to say.
Always grateful and blessed.
mun
Yes, I do miss him a lot. I want him to come back earlier but he's probably not going anywhere after this, so...persevere! I know I can do this but don't know why this is feeling extraordinarily harder than I expected it to be.
This morning I went to a centre where they teaches the autism kids to make organic teas called seventeaone. It was not bad. but I felt a little awkward because I don't know how to start small talks. I just don't know how. I need somebody that starts conversation first to warm up. >< so annoyed with myself. But I don't think I care much cause as long as everyone had fun, I'm okay to be invisible. lol. Well, at least we sang and had fun!Of course I have a few friends there but not really close to them, at least I don't feel the odd one out!
Some random thoughts came into my mind when I was there. Seeing everyone interacting with the kids, and okay, I was being pessimistic, in a way. I mean, are they going to see the kids ever again after this? Yes, everyone was being nice but sort of giving the kids some false hopes. I don't know how to describe this but I feel sad, the kids have to see so many random strangers trying to talk to them, to be their friends for that short period of time and then leave and most probably will never come back again. I believe some will come back, but how many?
In a way, pushes me even more to start my dream and help as many as I can and actually continue with it instead of just a one time thing. Makes me realise that we are all very fortunate with what we have. I am very grateful with what I have, really. I will work harder to achieve what I want and help as much as I can. That's my dream.
That's all I want to say.
Always grateful and blessed.
mun
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