love smiles, love laughter

Being a millennial, not just millennials actually. Living in this connected era, everything becomes so much faster. Time seems like its flying by. All information is just at your finger tips. Literally. All these made us becoming more and more impatient. We want things, now. We want to this, now. We want that, now. Everything, now! It's crazy. It's making me crazy! Well, i have pretty much to relate to this and one day i realised that, i need to slow down. Slow.the.heck.down. I am only 22. Well, not for long now but oh well. Why am i rushing into things? Just stepped in to a new chapter in life-working life. And when i first started, my first day of work, i thought of why am i not in this and that department where i can grow faster and learn much more. That was just the first freaking day! Like, come on woman. Chill , dang it. After the first day, i had a breakdown cause initially i wanted to enter another department so badly because that was what i always, always want

When given lemon, make lemonade. 

Do you have songs that make you reminisce of some particular memories you had with someone?  While listening to random songs on Youtube and particular song came up and reminded me of the memories I had. It was weird because I thought I am already over it but it seems like i haven't.  Well, I guess some memories just stick like glue?  Songs are powerful. It speaks your mind and soul. I would say, I could feel the exact feelings I had when i first heard that song! Crazy, really.  There's nothing much I am going to update bout my life right now because let's just wait for bit more.  heh.  Grateful and blessed. mun

Recently, I have gone through pretty lot in my mind. So many confusions, so many almost-making-stupid-compromises. One hell of a roller coaster ride. After listening to what people around me has gone through, really struck me that I am lucky to have something that other people might not have, positivity. To be honest, I don't have that all the damn time, but I do make sure that the negativity will only stay for a day, that's the time limit I always give myself. Doing this really has kept me afloat, still keeping me afloat. Things are tough, but, good things go to people who wait. I need to consume this, digest this. You know when you are only hearing things, not actually listening to it. I have been hearing that quote a lot. I know the importance of it but now, i need to believe it, because believing something, really could turn things around. No one can ever put themselves in your shoes and neither do you. What you can start doing is, wear your goddamn shoes and wear it with

It is normal to feel good, feel as if you are on top of the world. And, it is normal to feel down, feel so worthless, as if you are not worthy of anything at all. Been feeling like that lately. I felt the ups and downs so quickly that sometimes i got confused on what am i exactly feeling. Really weird i know. The instability is killing me slowly. Seriously. Not feeling motivated to do anything, besides the weekends - that's the only thing I always look forward to cause that's the only time we get to see each other. This feelings i have for him is intense. I really am speechless. How can i feel so much in such a short time. I have no idea. So many people around me, my mom, my sibling, my close friend asked me how long have we been together and i said, only 1 month plus....? and they were like WHAT. I thought you guys have been together since forever! I was like.. nope. And what does that supposed to mean?! I like our type of hang outs. We just chill at home, hang out with fa

When things don't turn out as how you planned, it is time to change your plans. There are always a better alternative. We should not, must not think that once one plan is not going smooth, that's the end of the world. No. I am a firm believer that though what you planned now is not going as what you've expected, I am sure there's a better out there for you. There's always a better alternative when you believe it. Believe.  I believe I can, I definitely can. Things don't look as what I've planned. I was feeling a little lost for a bit and decided to Google for a bit and I found something that may lead me to what I want in the future. Why didn't I see that earlier? Could've done it earlier on. But anyhow, it is never too late. Let's just see where is my fate leading me to. Patience.  Good things come to those who are patient. Definitely agree to that. I may seem that i don't care but i do. I really do deep inside. I can't

It has been quite awhile since I've posted my last post. Hasn't been consistent in posting something up cause wasn't feeling something extra besides something I am going to talk about later. But anyways, yeah, wasn't feeling extra much after graduation. I definitely do miss the student life, staying with a bunch of great housemates, have our weekly hangouts and stuff. But now, it is different already. We don't see each other that frequent anymore which seriously saddens me. Everyone has their own things to do and it is pretty hard to find a time to gather everyone together. Well, we did hang out after graduation which was 2 weeks ago and yesterday night. Went to Raj's restaurant to try out the fish and chips. Not bad i would say, but the waiting time is a wee too long. I like our hangouts. Though we didn't talk as much cause the group is huge and when there's so many of us, the group will tend to get separated. Get what i mean? haha. Well, have to deal

It is true that great things happen unexpectedly. Don't you think so? I was so busy with studies, SWAG, and social during the last semester of my university life. I was seriously just focusing on what i was doing and focus on bonding with my friends and family in the midst of finding myself. I know that it is pretty much cliche to say finding yourself or etc when you are single and so on. I think I have grown to care more of the people who really care about me. Before this, i wouldn't be as close or hang out as much with my friends cause i must admit, to many hang outs sometimes just tires me. I have learned to take it slow and your friends value the time you spend with them and it doesn't need to be a super long hang out or daily messages and what not. After the 3 years in uni, i have learned so much, i have grown so much as a person. I have fallen, and i got up from it. Keeping this safe is not how I want to live my life. I would actually challenge myself to get mysel

Another random thought of the day. After watching a video posted by one of the Youtuber on how she handles her bad days, makes me think that, you know, it is true that us, humans, have our bad days. Just random bad days without reasons. You don't actually know why you feel bad, you just  feel bad. Without legit reasons. Weird? Yes. I guess, when you are moving so fast in your daily routines, as in, wake up in the morning, hang out with friends, or go out to work then come back home, relax for bit then sleep and the routine repeats. And your weekends are probably packed with hangouts and chill sessions, thus, missed the alone time. The time to recollect, to reflect. It is normal for us to feel that way. Sometimes it may also be affected by the social media where we see how "perfect" someone else's life is but come on, you don't know what has happened before the picture was taken, what was happening when the picture was taken and what happened after the picture

Do dreams come true? I mean, i have been watching so many YouTube videos lately and most of the videos I've watched talk about dreams coming true and etc. This makes me wonder if dreams do really come true? I mean, people don't just make it up right? Probably because the dreams that i have are not here yet? I don't know. I don't actually know what are my exact dreams. This is the same as the book, The Secret telling us the how powerful our mind is and etc. I would say it is pretty much true but to see things happen, things that you want to happen, takes time. That's where patience comes in. What i need to do now is to come up with what are my exact dreams. I mean, i have them but they are pretty vague. I need to make them as clear as possible so i know where to go next. Just got my results few days ago and i am legit happy and excited bout it! I expected worse but who knows the results came out better than expected! Very near to First class if i didn't scr

Someone has recently confessed his feelings towards me but sadly i couldn't return his feelings as I always see him as a best friend. A friend that i can truly open up to and he was always there for me. I used a few days, trying to figure out my true feelings and I only like him as a friend and i feel we couldn't be more than that. I group people. If that makes sense. People that i can be really close with and still be friends and people that i want to be with. I am devastated that I had to tell him the truth and i wish we could still go back to normal, but that is nearly impossible. How can he see you differently now? He will see you as the girl who rejected him. Could we actually back to besties? I hope, i wish. I really do hope we can go back to where we were. I really do. Feelings cannot be controlled and forced. How i wish i could but honestly, it is also impossible to do that. It is annoying how things just don't go your way. It takes 2 person to click and form

Do you ever feel like you don't belong in this world? Like everything you do is somehow just not right, just wrong? Nothing is moving into the right direction now. Feel so aimless, worthless that I can't do anything to help. I can blame, blame on so many things but would that solve anything? I've learned not to blame. What is the point anyway? The roller coaster ride of life - a never ending route. Will I ever have a calm ride in life? I don't think so. Challenges - one after another. Seems like I magnet all these challenges. I should stop thinking bout these and move on. No point thinking when I can't solve anything. At all. I want to disappear. Until everything is back to normal. But, what is normal? Nothing is normal in my life. Never have, never been, never will. Guess, I just need to embrace what I'm given. Despite the challenges, I am grateful. I am blessed. What I have now, is actually better than many people. Many, many people of

So my sisters are currently all the way in Johor leaving Mark and I at home. Hmm. I thought of going to the mall just now and i realised it's Saturday.. I don't usually go to the mall during weekends cause it is going to be so packed and since I am free during weekdays, so why not wait? haha. Feel like going out but i can't just leave Mark at home alone.. >< AH well. Today has been pretty productive as I applied a few programs online and let's just see what happens. And i worked out at home, did some body weight routines. Feel so good after working out actually. Best feels. *snacking on cheese strips haha* Been feeling pretty unwell, emotionally and mentally- i couldn't even finish a movie! That is very unlikely of me not finishing a movie, you know. At first i thought it'll be pretty dreadful to be home alone and don't know what to do with life and etc. But tomorrow I am going to move things from my Semenyih house like finally and then fetch my fr

You know when you have that moment where you just hate every single part of your body? - only apply to girls, i think. I had that this afternoon where i just came out from the shower, and looked in the mirror, and i hated everything, from the tip of my hair to my toes. omg. *never put the mirror next to the window-natural lighting sucks sometimes* It sucks as you can see everything so damn clearly. All the pimples you have on ur face, the blackheads on ur nose, the split ends of your hair and etc. You can just point out every single flaw you see and then ruin your mood for the day. I was there standing in front of the mirror hating the fats on my arms, my tummy, my thighs, well, basically my whole body. Very very bad. It has been awhile since I've had this cause before this i was just too busy with activities and etc. Now, i am just too damn free which is bad. When a girl says she hates everything bout herself, it is true. Believe that. Me, a not so girly type of girl, i would sa

I have been reading the book by Robin Sharma, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. Like finally i get to read this book. The book is seriously inspiring. I am only halfway through the book and i am taking it slow cause there's so much in the book that i want to digest. I realised, i see Winston Churchill's quote everywhere. In the library, so many in his book. Wow, i really need to find out who is this. His quotes are very motivational and inspirational.  One that i got from the book is "the price of greatness is responsibility over each of your thoughts". Control of our own mind is actually really important as it is the magnet to things that is happening, things that are going to happen in our lives. It is very similar to the book, Secret, where our mind controls the law of attraction. Whatever we think about, that is what is going to happen. To ensure great things to happen, first, control your mind to think positively. Not only that, learn from mistakes, take it as a l

It is funny how people can wake up so early just for a bowl of curry mee. The people i mean, us, NDC peeps that actually woke up at 5am or earlier just for the famous curry mee in Selayang. We departed from Semenyih at around 6am and we reached the restaurant within an hour and then waited for about 2.5 hours to get our curry mee. Oh man, such a long wait. I don't understand how i could wait for such a long time without any books or newspaper to read. Probably, i was seriously enjoying the hang out session with them. <3. Though we didn't talk much, i just like the company. I don't think i will ever have this anymore when i start working. No more random early morning breakfast and can ever be this carefree. I crashed the moment i reached my room. Napped for about an hour then i could only start my day after 2pm. LOL. Though i started my day pretty late, today is pretty productive. As in, i completed what i am supposed to do which i will usually drag. Maybe cause i really

It is the last month of my university life. After this month, i'll step in to the working life already. I am actually pretty excited about it and at the same time, reluctant to leave the freedom i am having as a student. This semester especially has been really great to me. I have been really busy this whole semester and didn't have time to blog. Now, i am just taking out some time to relax and to blog. It has been awhile. I've learned so much in this semester. So much from everybody that i worked with. Everyone inspired me to be better, to do better and to be extra productive. Thank you everyone. I was feeling really tired these few days, not enough sleep i guess. Been doing work since morning till late night. I seriously need to take care of my health. Like seriously. This is seriously not the time to fall sick. I miss dancing. I miss practicing till late night. And the SWAG most probably is going to be my last time on stage. Sentimental much. But yeah, once in awhile i

The fourth SWAG and also my last SWAG performance, probably my last time performing on stage. I mean, i don't think i will have the opportunity to perform on stage anymore once the working life starts. I am very , incredibly happy and satisfied with the committee this year. All of us knows what to do, what are our responsibilities and i am very satisfied. I couldn't ask for more of the outcome. It is really successful for me already. Could've been better i think but now, i don't really see any major things that could be corrected or adjusted. If i were to be given a chance to change something of the event, i would say, nothing i would want to change. There were some glitches here and there but we made it. We learned from the mistakes and solved it right there and then. I learned so much from this event. SO much that i need a few days to slowly digest it. Everything feels too good to be real. I thought i will doze off right when i hit the sack cause i was, actually still

It has been awhile since I've blogged. More of, i have been writing but i just didn't post it up cause they were all too whiny and gloomy. Honestly, wasn't at my best for the past few weeks as things were pretty messy and everything just seemed so wrong. Mentally and physically exhausted. Though was still being consistent working out but i only felt good for a few hours and after that, the ecstasy just seemed to have dispersed and i was left with with tiredness and exhaustion and moody and the list goes on. It is pretty rare for someone like me to be like that, well, at least in front of the people around me. I need to engage with people to cheer up but i, too, need to have some time for myself to recharge. I think i was just being really overwhelmed by everything that's happening. Being the OC of the biggest dance showcase on campus is definitely something and with tutorials and one more month till exams. I felt so stressed that i just wanted to disappear. However, a

Man, finally a weekend to really chill. I had a really packed week. Had so many meetings and lectures and tutorials and literally had no time to gym at all. I skipped a whole week of gym. Man.. But i had dance practices at night, so i guess i still exercised haha. Monday till Thursday was packed. Hella packed. My day will start at 9 am and my day on campus ends at 10 pm. Everyday. And each hour is packed with either meeting or class. On Tuesday, i only had an hour of break for the whole day. Only an hour. Crazy. I know. And finally on Thursday we had our chilling session haha. So fun. Everyone got pretty high that night. We laughed so much, and we were damn loud. My friend could hear us across the street. Like seriously. And we stayed up the whole night and i slept at 8am. Freaking 8am. Usually it will be around 5am but that day, we went out for breakfast, i could barely taste my food. I was dead tired. And i woke up at 11am. 3 hours of sleep. I sort of survived my day with just 3

I am finally home! After a really long trip for CNY. Time flew by too damn fast. I can't believe that class is starting in a few days' time and back to studying and projects. I mean, i am pretty excited to really start this semester. The first 2 weeks were just warming up. Now, it is time to seriously focus on class, discovering myself, have fun for this last semester and enjoy what i will be doing. I have so much to do. There is really no time to waste anymore. No more. Every single hour needs to be utilised. I want to feel accomplished at the end of each day until i graduate. I shall try to keep this resolution. Actually, scratch that ' shall try ', shall replace it with a must . yup. That's more like it. I am determined to change myself. Determined to do things, develop skills that will support me to reach my goal. I had so much fun in Penang. I am pretty sick of Prawn Mee, Laksa and Loh Mee already. I have eaten so much of these famous foods in Penang that i c

I had lots of fun in Penang for Chinese New Year this year. Initially i thought I will be bored to death in Penang cause nothing to do here and my dad will be out the whole day with his friends and leave us in the hotel or shopping mall or something. But no, so far so good. :) Last night i had really amazing hang out session with the NDC peeps. I really can't get away from them eh? haha. We laughed so much. Talked from some really serious stuffs to really stupid and ridiculous topics. haha. That change though, but that's what i like about hang outs, you talk just about everything. Then this morning, i went to my grandma's place. I had wonderful time. We had BBQ for dinner and it was amazing! I am pretty amazed with my BBQ skills. haha. At least all the chicken wings that i was in charge of are cooked and tasted good. *pats* hehe. Then the younger ones watched some HK movie and the older ones had their beer and chat session. Normal chinese ah peks' hang out session. I

I had a wonderful night last night. We went to Tamarind Hills for dinner to celebrate our friend's belated birthday. :) It is almost one month late actually haha. Well, everyone is pretty busy with work, well most of them are busy with work except for me as i am still studying, last semester baby! I had a grown up night. haha. Usually for university students, birthdays are usually celebrated in the club and make the fella drunk. But yesterday night, after the dinner, we went to our friend's place to have some wine and chill and we played Pandemic. A pretty intense game. You need to understand alot of information before starting the game. Definitely not as easy as like Scrabbles or Monopoly. It is not just any board games. haha. But you will understand it once you start playing it. I actually like the game. We stayed for a pretty long time there as he decided to bring out some Glenmorangies and Black label to 'teach' me to differentiate the different types of whiskies.

I had real fun yesterday! My housemates and i went to the waterfall at Sungai Gabai. When we first reached there, we took around 10-15 mins to pack up and prepare for the hike which we estimate to be around 40 mins to reach the waterfall. After done packing, we walked towards the entrance and we saw the waterfall. We were stunned as we thought it is going to be a 40 mins hike to reach the waterfall but no, it's there, like right there, few minutes away from our car. haha. Face palm. Everyone's expression was priceless. haha. We took longer time to pack and prepare for the hike than the time to reach the waterfall. haha wth. Alex was like, this looks like the one in the picture then we were like oh man, should we find another waterfall to go to and so on. If we reached Sungai Gabai earlier, we would've gone to another waterfall but we reached around 11.30am so it'll be pretty late already if we decided to go to another waterfall and hence we decided to stay. It was real

I had a great night last night with my girl. She is another friend that i had a really good chat with. Someone that i can really click with and we have pretty same wavelengths on things. We updated each other on our lives so far and yeah, really love hang outs like this. I went out with another buddy the night before too. Been drinking for the past 2 nights and surprisingly my mom didn't say anything, that trust right there though. haha. Am supposed to hang out again tomorrow night but i don't know why, i don't feel like it. Seriously, don't have the mood for it cause the hang out will be at 5-7pm. Beer at that time is just, pretty off for me haha. I am still doubting to go or not. We shall see. I like night hang outs, beers at night is pretty nice, not when i can still see the sun. Very different from my usuals. haha. Anyhow, we shall see tomorrow. Not been doing anything much these days, just hang out at home, spend quality time with my mom and read Little Women. I

It is already 18th! Few more weeks to Chinese New Year! Things are happening way too fast. I mean, it is my finally semester now. Final. And then i am going to leave university life, a student life and move on to working life. I am pretty excited for it actually. Venture into a different phase of life and i am excited about it as i will be earning my own money, no longer need to be dependent on my parents' allowance and so on. Sometimes i just feel so embarrassed to ask for allowance cause i just don't want to ask. I just feel embarrassed doing that. No idea why. Hence, i just want to graduate as soon as possible and work! I may miss, i mean, i think i will definitely miss my university life but we need to move on. Can't just stuck to university life right? Working is not roses on bed at all. That is for sure. You can never find a perfect job, there's always trial and error. No way that you will find a perfect job on the first shot you know. I mean, of course we can a

2 more papers to go! After i finished my paper this morning, i was wondering what will i do after exams. Like, for now, i still have something i need to do but after exams, i won't be having something i need to do for a week until the semester starts. Well, next semester starts on the 25th of January, i think. Hmm, not too sure about it. Omg, bad student right here! haha. So if the semester starts on the 25th, then i will only have like 10 days of holidays, only 1 week? >< damn. Time is passing so damn fast. I will be 22 in like real soon. In 2 weeks' time. It is really crazy and as cliche as it is, it feels like it was only yesterday when i first moved to this house in TTS and met these amazing people. They are seriously such bros. Someone who understands and advises me to be a greater person. Okay, i have to stop being cheesy, again . I realised that i almost every post i blogged starting of this year are pretty cheesy. Shows that i learned to value people and things ar

Couldn't believe that today is the end of 4th of Jan already! How fast time flies and after tomorrow will be the first day of my exam then without me realising, it'll be the last paper of the semester. The 2nd last exam of my university life, well, technically my life, at least for now cause not sure if i want to pursue further studies, Masters or something but for now, i am pretty sick of studying already. However, I or actually all of us, only have been studying for 15 years or so in our lifetime - well, from the age 7 to 22. Other than that, until the retiring age, 65 from let's say 23, you will work for freaking approximately 40 years. The sad part is, no one values their student life. Many people, including myself, i just can't wait to start working where i can have a career, a different type of lifestyle. A lifestyle i always imagined myself doing, busy at work, then Friday night in a bar catching up with friends and so on. It seems like roses on bed but i know, i

1st of January, woke up at around 8.30am, feeling great! Had a chat with my friend, well he screwed his car last night due to drink and drive, please never follow that, note to self-checked. haha. Had a great chat with Cheong last night, he is so motivational. Everything he says is inspiring haha. I would say, he has an old soul. I have it too, only sometimes, based on situations. Sometimes i can be really childish. Not even joking haha. My housemates call me the child in the house. LOL. Today is starting well and I'm listening to Frank Sinatra. I love his songs, i love his voice. So calm and relaxing. A really good start of the day and year! I will try my very best to keep this up. Was reflecting while enjoying my cup of green tea just now. I thought of, i am blessed with so many great things. I have my family, a happy family, i have amazing friends and that is more than i can ask for. Sometimes i ask, am i worth it? Not too sure, but one thing for sure, whenever my friends

2016 is definitely a new year. I am grateful for everything that happened in 2015. I really am grateful for everything that happened as it thought me to be a better person, i grew so much. I opened my eyes and get to know so many amazing people. So many that i didn't realise that were around me all along.  I laughed so much, and cried as much too in 2015. Many has happened and you know what, let bygone be bygone. Never regret . That is going to be my motto of my year, my life. Never regret . I have my priorities set in my mind for 2016 and i will, here, promise myself that i will accomplish them. Deep down from the bottom of my heart, i wish everyone to be always blessed and showered with happiness in 2016. I apologise for all my wrongdoings and if i offended you in any way at all. I would like to thank the 2015 me for being really consistent in updating this blog. This blog has now become the place for me to relax myself. A place to rant, a place to share my happiness