love smiles, love laughter

Why is she always confusing me. I was slowly opening myself to her but after what happened today made me curious, so curious that i don't even know if we are now friends anymore or back to ignoring mode. I really don't want the ignoring mode to happen but if that is what she chooses, i don't really mind cause i am already used to not having them around me anymore. So, it is back to the life without them. The thing i am confused about is, we chatted in whatsapp and everything seem so fine until i asked one question and she stopped replying me after seeing my message. Hmm. why? I don't even know. I know on Thursday night all of them hang out together and i asked if Aishah teased her and she said yes, but she ignored Aishah then Aishah stopped. Then when i asked, what she teased about, she stopped replying me already. I was like, hmm, why? Well, i didn't really care about it cause maybe she skipped my message. Then today at class, she sat with Aishah, well, i don't...

Magic happens when you truly believe it. At first i don't believe magic, I mean, for many of us, magic means illusion but actually magic is more than that. It is more than just illusion, it is real. I read the book Secret and to see "Magic", we must be grateful for what we have. I have been writing 10 things i am grateful about everyday and that changes my life, not significantly, yet. But i believe one day, whatever i wished for will definitely come true because i appreciate, grateful for the things i have, things being given to me. I start to see things more clearly and being more and more appreciative now. I believe that as we start to appreciate things, magical things will happen, may not be significant at first but that's how great things start. Right? I am definitely going to continue writing and be more and more appreciative and grateful for everything that i have and cherish moments with the people i love even more than before. I love this moment, moment to ...

i guess i sort of learned something today from the blogs i follow which is not to post so much of your relationship on social media. I feel it is as if a hidden curse. LOL. i mean, 2 of the person i follow on blogger, one is Naomi and the other one is my friend. Both of them always post things on social medias showing how happy they are and etc. I feel that, that is not the way to express feelings to each other. It is beautifully portrayed in themingthing's recent videos. It is surreal. Everything in the video is so on point, so right. I am not really a social media type of person, so i hope we are safe from that.. haha Anyways, i am sorry baby for being such a bitch these few days. I really don't understand how you could stand my hot and cold temper. I realise my mistakes and i really would want to get rid of it. I just dunno what is happening to me. I think with all the stress and i think i am having PMS which leads to all these crazy roller coaster temper. I miss you wh...

Finally, we are back, Hui Chee and I. I am loving it and i am happy for being with her when she needed someone to talk to. She really need someone to talk to now. Well, she is pretty confused with her own feelings. I seriously get her as i felt such way before. She was complaining on why is she feeling sad but she doesn't know it. She said she feels sad when she sees him. I waS like, you are sad because he doesn't like you back is it? She nodded. I so know her. haha. Not even kidding cause i know her. I know how she feels. It is not easy to forget the feelings/ the serious crush. Not easy but she has to understand what her feelings are telling her. Fully understand everything she feels cause if not, she will definitely suffer from the confusion and might deteriorate her relationship with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend loves her and treats her very well. And she might take that for granted and they are just too comfortable with each other i would say. Well, i can't blame tha...

Had a really fun Halloween Party last night at The Roof. It was really fun, i drank pretty much but somehow when they announced that the club is closing, my body switched a button to Sober Mode. LOL i don't even know how. I know when i was in the club, i was pretty tipsy but after that, nope, not at all anymore! Pretty amazing eh? I wore high heels and obviously my front soles will be painful. It's feeling not too bad now but still painful. Physically and emotionally painful. Besides my soles, my heart aches because of the anger built up inside me. I don't understand why didn't you control yourself. Just because you don't need to drive and just because you paid for the drinks does not mean that you have to pour everything in so it is 'worth it' right? There's a word that can describe your behaviour but i just can't find what the word is yet. Yesterday, your image to the new friends, and the other NDC members are gone. Daniel, oh yeah, he puked th...

I am angry, i am beyond pissed. I admit i am being emotional on this matter. I am doubting which side you are on now. No words can describe how angry i am right now. I talked to the Cheer president. I have no word to describe how stunned am i as in how did he get to be the president of Cheer? He is so chill, too chill about everything. We discussed about some personal things which is about Rachel after the meeting. He kept on asking me to talk to her. I asked him, why not ask her to talk to me instead. I really just want to clear things up with her. I really don't want to handle this glitch forever. I don't want to hold on to this pending friendship. I am comfortable with who i am mixing with now. For her, it may just be an additional friendship. i don't think we can be as close as before anymore. I just want to clear the air and know why she acted such way to me when we were in UK. The pain was unbearable. And the Cheer President is the last person to talk to, like serious...

Had a great life experience yesterday where i get to attend the DELL Finance Challenge. Well, before attending this event, i thought it was just an open day yada yada but no, there's much more than just that. We were being observed since the moment we entered the office. All of us were being analysed by the DELL staffs to see who deserve to be interviewed to be eligible to their Finance Development Program (FDP). It sounds really interesting and a really different path compared to any other companies or anything that was in my mind. This is another pathway i can take, say if i am being chosen for the first interview. I learned a lot, like seriously a lot from the business simulation. It was very realistic. The "Open Day" took my whole day then once i reach Uni, i had to rush home to change to NDC t-shirt and rush to our Welcoming Night. The induction went well though there have been glitches here and there but all in all, we got new "mamak" members. haha. Not ...