love smiles, love laughter

I have been fearing for my life of what is going to happen with me in the next few years. Where am I going to be? What am I going to have? What am I going to do? So many thoughts have been lingering in my mind past these few months and I have been sort of living in fear, at least subconsciously. Yes, I do enjoy my life when I was travelling to places with my bf. But you know that at the back of your head, you are fearing of something. Something that you can’t just say it outright. It eats you. It ate me. I was unhappy for a few months, because I don’t know what am I going to do. The uncertainties killed me or still killing me. At least I am slowly recovering from the pain, doubts, confusion. It was a bad wound. One thing that I have stopped doing when I was having those thoughts was working out and dance. I was always active with exercising and dance. I don’t know which affected which. Was it because of me stopped working out that affected my brain from producing the serotonin which ...

Hi all, It has been a long while since I have written something here. Actually it has been a long while since I've written my thoughts out. I have been having a lot of thoughts in my mind a few months now, and I think that's the reason for all the pimples popping up on my forehead, sigh. Putting that aside, I have been unhappy these few months. Mostly because of worrying the uncertain future that I am going to face. I have no idea why am I so concern of the future and etc. Because of the uncertainties, I have been stressing myself out. Giving myself unwanted worries. I have finally, or slowly taking baby steps. Meaning, I want to live in the moment where, I am only going to think of what I want to do this week and probably next week. Just want to start fresh instead of worrying so much on my future like omg, how many babies I am getting or whatever or if I cannot conceive when I want to have my own kids so bad. Okay, those are seriously unwanted stress! See? I think of all ...