love smiles, love laughter

I have been thinking a lot. I have been watching TED videos on relationships and love- trying to understand more about them. Maybe i don't understand the real meaning of love and relationship. Every relationship has 2 elements. You want predictability yet, you deem for surprises. You want security yet you crave freedom. And many more. They just butt heads. So in a relationship should know when to give surprise and when to be predictable. The effort to make a relationship last is not easy.  Next, desire. Desire can be said as a poison to a relationship. Well, depends. People will crave for more, forever more. That is when desire comes in. Why does infidelity happen even in a happy relationship? That's desire. You know it is wrong to cheat, but deep inside you want to be with someone else that you cannot be with. Strange huh? But that's how desire plays with ourselves.  The therapist (Esther Perel) said to a troubled married couple, forgo your first marriage. Do you wa...

Drip drop, drip drop as the tears hit my palm. Elbows resting on the table while hands supporting my chin wondering what does life really means. What does relationship really means. What is love. While gazing at the window, i couldn't think of anything when i thought i could. With the downpour outside the window, made me realize, life is never easy. I always wanted someone who could support me without me worrying about him but i guess, no such thing. I am sad, disappointed, beyond angry at myself. Why? Is it worth it? Simple question yet no answer. I couldn't. I thought i have passed this test but no, it came back and continues to hunt me. Am i being picky? Am i being ridiculous? My head is flooded, cramped with questions without answers. I am vexed. Probably there is no such thing as felicity in my life. I wish not. drip drop mun