love smiles, love laughter

Sleep is seriously important kids. You need to have enough sleep for the next day! Now i get why i couldn't focus at all yesterday. That was because i didn't have enough sleep. I slept pretty late like at 3. Then woke up at 8. OMG no wonder. and plus the study area i went yesterday was like a common area so people can talk and stuff. 100% no doubt, distracted. haha Okay, now no more excuses to get distracted and shyt like that man. Like seriously. Last night i slept early and today my eyes has energy! i can feel it! haha. Just i need maybe a short nap later or nah. No idea... can't really control my brain. Well, actually you can. Everyone can control their own brain. When you realise you can and you train it well, you can practically do anything. Like anything. Because brain is your source of everything. Knowledge, logic and everything. So, shall start learning to how to control my own brain. haha. Do what i tell him/her to do. haha him/her. LOL. oh yeah, today is my da...

I am stoning. Not the weed stone but my mind keep drifting away. No idea why. I couldn't concentrate. I just cannot. No idea why. i wanna do something else. I can't read anymore. I feel like i read too much.. haha Okay so according to Stella, econometrics can score first class. I believe her cause yeah, it is doable haha. I cannot focus!!!!!!!! I wanna scream at myself now. I really dunno why. omg. haih >< Someone rescue me! I left one lasttttttt chapter for Econometrics then i can start doing exercises d. And thats it. Others i just need to read and do exercises. Okay you know what, by tonight, 1. Finish the last chapter of Econometrics 2. Finish at least 2 chapters of AIS 3. Finish 1 chapter of Insurance Then tonight can watch 2 episodes of Empire! yeah! MOTIVATION! haha okok motivation. grateful and blessed mun

So this morning i left earlier to class. I just don't feel like seeing them. So we were in the same class and obviously we sat at different rows. Just gonna make things less awkward. I feel like this is my solo month. I think i have been mixing with Stella so much which may be annoying to her. I don't know. I know she doesn't think that way but i just don't wanna bother people you know.. not only that, just now i went to the library and saw my friend there, she was alone and i thought i could join her but she was like, today i need to be alone to do my coursework then i was like ohh ok sure. then i scooted away. I felt bit la but i understand that she needs to finish her coursework haha. This made me realise that privacy is important. Yes, there are times to mix with friends and there are times for yourself to do your thang. That's why I am here sitting alone in a big table LOL. with SOFA bitches. haha. Good things are always in disguise. I was 'shoo-ed' a...

At first i don't really believe such thing as Monday blues because i feel this is something for humans to blame on. haha. Yes i was feeling rather lazy and blamed on Monday blues. I only finished a chapter of Insurance. So many damn pages to read and it was so damn dry. Like seriously. i just cannot take it.. haha Luckily i revised Econometrics yesterday night for tomorrow's test. hehe. Later i just need to practice it on the university's computer then I'm set! :) 1 more chapter to finish for the econometrics and this module is done! Like done studying and just need to focus on exercises. Awesome. So far i already completed 2 modules. Add econometrics will be 3. Then DDI's paper is only 30%. Well, that one just need to practice the seminar questions then i am done. So left 2, the Superdry Insurance which is 50% and all MCQ, Superdry ;) hahaha.. anyways, okay, so the last one is AIS. I HATE THAT MODULE OMG. I don't like the lecturer and the module is actually e...

Damn, today is pretty efficient. Completed 2 modules as planned in just a few hours time. #awesome. Not only that i managed to apply to 3 PR companies. Damn that's efficient! Of course i will need to do exercises after this to really capture on what I've studied. hehe Okay i forgot what i wanted to say before this cause my friend, Evan came over and chatted for bit. He just came back from his 30 days Easter trip to 16 countries and his phone got stolen in Italy. iPhone 6 plus. damn.. that's painful. Okay i will need to leave soon to city to get my new backpack! awesome! then dinner with the peeps! hehe. Oh yeah, now i remembered! I just realized my way of studying. I cannot study slow. Slow is not my thing because once i slow down, my mind will wander to other places and i will take ages to get back to what i was studying. Like yesterday. The few chapters can be finished within 2-3 hours but i took my own sweet time thinking study slow and read every single lines. We...

While i was having dinner, I went to the Youtube and played a song, can't remember which song then went to Beyonce then Destiny's Child, then Kelly Rowland, then Ciara, then Chammillionaire, then Soulja Boy, then T.I, then Nelly and now Ne-yo. hahaa.. All black songs. Man, they are awesome! This is something tweet-able but oh well, deleted that app. So this is going to be my next Twitter. Well, at least i don't have words limitation. haha I realized that all these nice songs were produced during 2008-2009. Mosttttt of the nice songs are ALL 2009! I was Form 3 and that year, as i remembered, was pretty good. haha I am so going to go back to old school and listen to all these songs. Screw the songs now, i am sort of bored of them already! haha When i get back later, open Spotify, add alllllll the 2009 songs. :) #AWESOME Oh yeah, so i was chatting with Janice and i seriously miss her! We are going to meet up tomorrow for dinner and i seriously can't wait for it! OM...

Okay, I admit i was childish for posting my assumptions on my blog. However, that was my first and last rant on you guys and that's it. Not only that, you guys were hurt from the tweet I tweeted long time ago. Like seriously long time ago. I never posted anything bout you guys at all since then. After knowing you guys were hurt, I never tweet anything on Twitter and so on. Nothing. And now you guys are doing the same thing as what i did that hurt you guys before this on Facebook. Well, i don't know what does that mean but i feel, you guys are no different compared to the old me. You guys were or still are angry at me for what I've posted on Twitter and now you are doing the same thing. I'm actually confused. Anyway, all i can do now is to ignore and continue with my solitude life now. Yes, i have been avoiding you guys because i don't think there's anything else that i should say anymore or i should do anymore because i have tried my best to save this friendsh...

I have been really quiet since last night. Last night was my first time for crying so hard. I have never cried so much before. Never. No matter how hurt or sad i was last time, i've never cried that much before. But yesterday night was the longest cry ever. I don't even dare to look at myself when i was washing up cause i know my eyes would be super swollen but surprisingly it was... bearable. Not so swollen after all haha. Over exaggeration. hehe  I've never talked since last night until just now when i Facebook called to talk to the NDC members for the sharing session. Felt good though after talking.. haha although not so much but yeah. I almost teared while sharing my feelings when i first joined NDC but i didn't. I have no idea why but the moment i start thinking bout what happened last night will surely make me tear or feel angry.  I know it takes time to heal. I don't know if i can fully heal after this. Family and friends are my weak spot. What they di...

I know this is kind of stupid saying this now but now I am restarting myself. Renewing myself from the negativity I had before this. No more negativity after this. I have decided to go to the library 8am-8pm everyday. Well, this is not me but this is the only way to get away from negativity and get focused. Somehow I feel comfortable here. I can concentrate better here. Way better than being in the room alone. Maybe I just need to be surrounded by people. People that I don’t know. Even better right? Get sometime alone. After what happened, I have a clearer picture of what is the real meaning of friendship and who is the true people that you can trust and who worth trusting and to rely on. I told my mom I was really sad and angry at what they did to me. I didn’t tell her what they did, she didn’t ask. I know why she didn’t because no point telling her the stories when they are already over. No point bringing back the painful past and make me feel even more sad bout it than I alread...

Now i know what it means by your closest friend is your worst enemy. I get it now. I had problems with my housemates and it doesn't feel good at all. They boycotted me for about 3 weeks. Today was the harshest as Psy, the one that i talked to the most, the one i travelled with to so many places, the one i was so close to, was the one who hurt me the most. She shot at everything i said during the face to face confrontation. They went out together today for lunch and she was the one who posted picture of them hanging out on instagram and she purposely did it. I will never forget how she told me. I admit my post was bit too harsh but come on, 5 against 1, isn't it bit too much? They have each other to talk to in the house but not me. I am alone in this house. I have other friends too of course but the same bunch of people boycotting me under the same roof is just too much. It hurts. Well, at least now i know who are my true friends. Out of 5, i think i have 2.. I think. we will ...

To my dear housemates, I know i offended you guys in the previous post I've posted but come on, that's from my point of view. Yes, i have the rights to express what I'm feeling and yes, of course, you have the rights of your own feelings. My post was really harsh but that is just what i see and blogging is my only way on ranting shyt out. You have your own ways on expressing, i have mine too. Everyone does crazy things when they are sad or mad. True that not everyone is interested on the same thing. And too bad we don't see eye to eye on many things. I was raised up differently compared to you guys. It was a harsh childhood and that is why i was really mad when you guys did the stuffs as i mentioned in the post. For you guys to boycott me because of that one post I've written out of all the other good things I've posted is hurtful. Not only that, I am always there when any of you needed my help. I've never said no.  I know you guys have access to my bl...

It has been awhile since I've updated my blog. I always wanted to update and share my experience in London but i was occupied with studying and busy Skyping with le boyfriend. He takes so much of my time! hehe Okay, so in London, i stayed over at my friend, Denis's place. We went to the Platform 9 3/4. haha. It was embarrassing and funny because before the picture was taken, the staff will sway the scarf. I felt like a dog on leash. LOL. Anyways, we went to the Covent Garden after that and had Shake Shack. The burger was awesome! Though expensive.. hmm. We walked around Covent Garden and i watched many street performance. There's a lot of street performance around London. Later, we went to the Chinatown for roasted duck. It has been a long long time since I've eaten roasted duck. Roasted duck is my favourite! :) i am so craving for it right now! Anyways, let's continue.. haha Then we just walked around and took loads of pictures. Oh oh, we went M&M's! ...

I am feeling rather devastated now. No idea why but yeah. I think i have too much time to spare. I have nothing to do at home. I don't feel like watching any dramas at all. Been watching seriously F**ked up movies. No idea why. Seriously not recommending Stretch and The Voices. I have no idea why i finished watching those movies. @@ wasted my time. So i have started studying. Hmm. i have seriously nothing to do besides that. Been on instagram, twitter and so on. So frustrating! ugh. I want to go out so badly! I can't stay at home for sooooooooooooo many days without going out. I can't ! i may go nuts! luckily I'm going London tomorrow and then by the time I'm home, i have goals  to reach which is to start studying and maybe have some dance classes and gym. These 2 days have been passing rather slowly. But luckily i have my sisters and mom and le bf to FaceTime with me. If not, I really don't know how to pass the day. I can't study the whole day! right?! i ...

After the busy schedule during traveling, and now back in my room, i don't know what to do. I have nothing to do. I have the last coursework to do. But not in the mood to do it yet.. haha. However, I really don't know what to do. Too bored. I have 1 more day here then gonna go London already. What am i gonna do here.. Study.....? hmm. Or should i tour around Nottingham? I really don't know where to go in Nottingham. Solo tour around Nottingham? I can't....really tour alone.. I will feel lonely. No idea why but yeah.. I will feel so. I should just say home and read something.. Or look at the coursework and try to do something with it. It's a group project so yeah. When i have nothing to do, i will start feeling pretty sad. Cause don't know why, i think i have too much time to think of nonsensical things. haha sad truth. So I've read what is required. I need a Microsoft Access to do it. And i am pretty lost on what i should do though.. Lost. Seriously lost.....

I am finally back home! not home-home yet but home! home sweeeet home! Oh, how much I've missed my bed. Slept in this room for a night only ever since I've been to Edinburgh then sleep on the bus and hostel.. Need a proper sleep on my deeply-missed bed. hehe. I unpacked but need to wash them. Lazy. Too tired. Only had like 2 hours of sleep on the plane cause i didn't sleep for the whole night taking care of our stuffs as Aishah was sleeping. haha Well, i couldn't sleep until i finish my book! I think I've said that in my previous post.. haha whoops Anyways, this morning i had the chance to talk to my sister back home and my mom. Oh how i miss them so much! :'(. My parents are having their honeymoon and my 2nd sister have to be the driver to fetch my little sister to school and so on. haha. Well, i guess next year would be my turn already to be the driver cause it's her turn to go UK for studies. Oh man.. Gonna  miss her so much! I have nothing to do no...

So these few days I'm off from blogging as I've been travelling around. Not to say to many places but there's a number of them, Cologne, Munich, vienna, Budapest and Prague. It was hell of an experience. I had appetiser and rice for main-sounds pathetic but yeah.. Didn't know how we came up to that decision.. Then we had a real backpacker's experience. We were seriously lucky as we went to the bus station half an hour earlier and who knows the bus we are boarding stops at another station which is more than 10 mrt stops! But phew, we asked the right person and her showed us the right directions. We managed to board the bus on time! The second time, something similar happened but at least for this one, we only need to run to the opposite of the bus station. Not too bad. For the entire trip, of 9 days, we only had proper sleep for 3 nights. Proper sleep as in sleeping on a bed. Haha crazy I know. We slept in the bus for many, many nights. I don't know how we did ...

Hey hey! So i just came back from Edinburgh. It was AWESOME except the place is seriously windy and cold. I could literally being blown away by the wind.. haha not even joking.. We went to Carlton's Hill, Arthur's Seat and had lunch with other college friends studying in Edinburgh. Awesome time with them! although it was just a short catch up session but it is the thoughts that counts. Had a really really good catch up session with my buddy. He is another friend of mine that i really value. thank you for being there when i need someone to talk to bro. :) Although he doesn't know who are my current friends and the current stories, he would sit down and listen to me ranting and talking bout my issues. haha well, where to find such a good friend that would sit down and confuses himself about the friends who you label as her, my another friend, she and so on without names. haha, well i have no idea.. haha I am thankful for having such good bros around me. You know who you a...