love smiles, love laughter

I have been in relationships with girls and guys. They are 2 different feelings altogether. I never regret being with my girl exes. I am still close with one of them, surprisingly haha. Okay, so i have been in 2 lesbian relationship and 2 straight relationship. I can't really describe how does it feel being with girls as i was really young-high school. My high school relationship was really really dramatic and complicated. I kept on jumping from one to another, well only between 2 girls but yeah.. I couldn't stay with one. no idea why. Maybe because deep down i know high school love is just puppy love and lesbian relationship can never work, well, that's how it works when you are from an asian family. I have to admit that i think i am a bi. My real straight relationship started when i was 17 and the relationship lasted for 3 years. I don't know how the hell i can stay in a relationship for such a long time! So, we didn't break up properly. No idea why but yeah.. i...

Is it true that i can only mix around with guys? Is that why i have more guys friends than girls? I click better with guys than girls? Probably. I am staying with 5 girls, they are all very nice friends but the thing is, somehow we can't reallyyyyyy  click on everything, well, can't really expect to be able to find a bunch of friends that you can click on everything right? mmhmmm. Anyways, take today for instance, i was already planning to go to the city with my flatmates. I asked one of them if she's going and she said yeah. Okay. Then this morning i asked her again, she said she need to wait for another flatmate if she's going. If the other flatmate is going, then she's going. wth. Well, you didn't tell me you were planning to go with her for cafe hopping. I was like whut... really, i was slightly broken hearted. I thought we could have some girly time, but nah, she ditched me. Okay, then I tried my luck and called Jon. At first he didn't pick up, but ...

OMG! I have been slacking so much these days, well, besides practicing for the Malaysian fest, I haven't been doing anything. I've done like 50% of my assignment due next week, NEXT WEEK!, and only 50% so far..... oh my.. I really have to idea what to write and how to structure my essay..like seriously. @@ It's so fast, it felt like it was just a month ago when we started practicing for the Malaysian fest, it is now HERE! this Saturday! Oh yeah, this Saturday night, will be hanging out with my fellow friends. Gonna attend her friend's birthday party. LOL i don't know if things are gonna be awkward, but oh well, i haven't been to any, ANY clubs in Nottingham at all! oh man. So, this Saturday is must to go! :) Oh well, all of a sudden i feel so down for the day, i don't know why.. So I've decided to buy beers haha. Sudden craving though.. no idea why. All of a sudden! @@ My flatmate asked me where am i going for this summer. My answer is, actually yo...

So this week seemed a pretty long and a dreadful one. I haven't start researching on my coursework that is due end of this month and i am going to be busy for 2 weekends both, too, for dance.. haha. Well, this was what i wished for right? A busy schedule..haha. Wish granted and so far....still coping with studies, pretttttttywell. Been studying quite constantly.. But, still need to do more than now! MORE before the Easter trip.. >< Before this, i was feeling rather down, not sure why but i think it was because of not getting my phone and so on. Oh yeah, bout my phone, i really have to no luck with black phones. Not even kidding.. haha. I dropped my phone during the first week i got here. So i decided to buy a phone. My parents and friends suggested iPhone but i insisted on not being mainstream and chose Blackberry Classic. Used it for less than a month, the volume button seemed not functioning so i reluctantly decided to send it back to Amazon and get a new one. I mean, why...

I am not feeling good. I feel very disturbed-mentally. It feels like i have so much to do but actually, no. It feels like everything is cramped in my mind. No idea why. Feel so... confused and all sorts of mixed feelings. I don't know why. I mean, everything is doing fine so far. Maybe its my phone. I don't feel good without my phone around but I don't really use my phone though except for whatsapp but that's only to chat with Dan. Now we are chatting using FB messenger in iPad. So having a phone or not does not matter. But i know deep inside, I'm not happy. I think i need alcohol. Have been craving, like no idea why, but yeah, crave for alcohol. I am not an alcoholic but... shyt, this is bad.... like seriously bad. I feel dizzy now. Like seriously dizzy. I think i had to much caffeine. Does that makes sense? No idea. Or because I've been listening to Fifty Shades of Grey's soundtracks too much? Like all emo songs which got my mind to turn to #emomode? I h...

It has been awhile since I've written anything. I miss this.. a lot. There has been quite a number of dramas lately. Well, all school related.. We were supposed to have a flashmob for Malaysian fest in the Old Market Square but it has been canceled due to financial issues. The committees are just, incapable or should i said scared to screw up or just having this Malaysian Fest for the sake of having it. They arrange a Malaysian Week as a replacement for the cancellation of the flashmob. I mean come on, what can you do for the whole week?! Booths for what? This is seriously stupid. I don't even feel like saying or suggest anything at all as no matter what, they already made the decision to make things less complicated and time consuming. Or I'm just really tired. Coffee can't help me at all. Seriously..  What can i do..? What can i suggest..? I actually like the first plan that Jon suggested. A Malaysian Ball. but, venue? Can we hold it out of campus..? Like in a bar,...